Julie & Sean’s Story

When we first discovered that Julie was pregnant, we had lots of questions about what we should do. We knew adoption was one option, but we really didn’t know much about it. So we decided to contact Adoption Minnesota to get some information.

Julie was really nervous about calling, but the birth parent facilitator who took her call was very kind and understanding. She explained the process clearly and sent us written information. We loved our baby very much already, and we wanted the best for him, so we knew it would be a hard decision to find a family we could really trust to give him the best.

Several months later, Julie called to set up a meeting with the facilitator, Ruth. She was willing to meet us wherever we would be comfortable, so we chose a Perkins Restaurant near Julie’s home.

Again, we were really nervous. Ruth put us at ease by explaining all our options, including parenting — she didn’t assume we were already set on adoption. We decided to wait to look at prospective adoptive families until after Julie was finished with school in May. During this whole time, we never once felt pressured to rush, but we kept in contact with Ruth for questions and support.

When we were ready to look at families, Ruth helped us decide what type of family would be best for us. We discussed lots of issues and developed a list of the things we wanted in a family. In mid-May Ruth brought us about 30 Dear Birth Parent letters to look at, all from families who fit our list. Julie sat in her kitchen reading and reading. She narrowed the choices down to 10 families and then with Sean’s help decided on 4 families to call.

Ruth helped us decide what questions we wanted to ask when we talked to these families on the phone and suggested some topics we could talk about. Although making those calls was nerve-wracking, we felt well prepared.
We decided we wanted to meet all 4 families, so we made arrangements to get together at various restaurants. We brought pictures of ourselves growing up and shared those with the families. It was Ruth’s idea and a great conversation starter.

After these meetings, we spent a lot of time talking to Ruth about our final decision. She was a great help in bringing out what we thought were the strengths of each family and our feelings about them. Finally we decided on our adoptive family. It was a great relief! We had found a family we totally trusted and knew we would have a good relationship with, even after the adoption was completed. We then worked with Ruth to set up our plan of how the adoption would go including contact before the birth, at the hospital, and after the baby went home with the adoptive family. Ruth then let the adoptive family know what to expect.

When Julie went into labor, the adoptive parents came to wait at the hospital. Ruth came too and made sure things went the way we wanted. She was very sympathetic and always available when we needed her. It was especially great to have her there when the discharge took place because that was an extremely emotional day for us.

After Julie was back home, Ruth was available to us any time night or day. It was great knowing we had that kind of support. We have continued to have contact with Ruth over the months since the adoption was finalized. It is nice to know she will always be available to us to help us sort through all the emotions we have felt.

If you’re considering adoption for your child, Adoption Minnesota is a place where you’ll find support and comfort with people who really care about you. For the most important event in our lives so far, we couldn’t have had a better experience!

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