“I am very proud of my decision. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.”
I was 18 years old and a senior in high school when I learned I was pregnant. I have always known about adoption. For many years I have said that if I were ever in the situation where abortion would be a solution, I would choose adoption without a second thought.
I decided adoption was the best choice for my baby as soon as his father failed to accept the responsibility of being “dad.” For me, keeping my son could have been an unbelievable struggle. I had six years of college to finish that most likely would have had to wait. Most of all I didn’t want my son to grow up without a mom and a dad.
I chose the adoptive parents myself. I looked through book of families. Some had children, some didn’t. Each couple had photos and a brief biography about themselves, their children and pets. When I got to the last page, I knew as soon as I saw their pictures that they were the ones. I got to keep their profile from the book.
When I looked at them, I could see parts of my life in theirs. Also, when I read their letter, it was almost as if God had answered my prayers right then and there. Everything that was really important to me seemed to be right there in their family.
I struggled with many emotions at different times in my pregnancy. Sometimes, I wished that I wasn’t pregnant so that I could do more with my friends. Towards the end, I was on bed rest and sick, so I wanted it all to be over. Then, when I had him, I wished it wasn’t all over.
My birth parent counselor was always there for me, and I always had options. She wasn’t saying this is the way you have to do it. She asked me how I wanted things to happen. She let me know I could change things if I wanted, and that was really important to me.
I had a very fast and easy delivery. My boyfriend was there, and everyone at the hospital was great. They respected me for my decision and let me have as much time as I wanted with my son. It was a very emotional time. I had second thoughts and more second thoughts. I cried a lot, but I knew my situation was still the same.
When it came time to leave the hospital, I had things set up a special way so it wasn’t so hard. My boyfriend came to get me before the adoptive parents got there so I didn’t have to see him leave with anyone else.
It was the HARDEST day of my life. I was depressed. It was comparable to losing someone you love, but you know they are still alive. It was very hard. Many, many thanks to my parents, boyfriend and counselor. Without these people, I could never have gone through with it.
I am very proud of my decision. I get pictures, updates, and visits. My son is cuter then ever! Every time I see how happy he is, any doubt I ever had goes away. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.