How to Give Your Baby up for Adoption

How to Give Your Baby up for Adoption

 

Finding out that you are pregnant when it wasn’t planned can be a really scary time. Many birth parents feel overwhelmed about what to do and find it hard to get accurate information about their options. Adoption Minnesota wants to help teach you about the adoption process and how to give your baby up for adoption.

 

The first step in giving your baby up for adoption is to call an adoption counselor. Adoption Minnesota counselors are available day and night to talk with your and support you through this process.

 

The next step is finding an adoptive family. Adoption MN has many families for you to choose from. After you decide which family you are interested in, you can proceed however you’d like. You may call, email or meet with adoptive parents. You can communicate your plan directly through your adoption counselor also.

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After you have decided on which family you would like to give your baby to we sit down and create an adoption plan. Adoption MN can help you create an adoption plan that fits your needs. Your counselor will assist you in planning your hospital stay. You can decide on spending time with your baby and/or the adoptive parents, if that is what you desire. You can also create a plan for future contact with your child and the adoptive parents that can include photos, updates and possible visits. Giving your baby up for adoption is a really hard process and many birth parents want to have some openness after the placement, so that they know how their child is doing.

When giving up your baby for adoption you need to remember that after you deliver the hospital is your time. You can decide if you, and family or friends, will spend time with the baby. If you would like to have the adoptive parents there at the hospital they can come whenever you would like. The adoptive parents can come to the hospital and you may or may not want to spend time with them, it’s up to you. Once the baby and you are ready to be discharged from the hospital, the baby goes home with the adoptive parents. We do not use foster care.

After you place or give your baby up for adoption there is one more step before it becomes final. When you feel emotionally, mentally and physically ready to sign the final paperwork you come to our adoption agency. To complete the adoption process, birth parents need to consent to the adoption. The consent is a legal document that birth parents in MN cannot sign until between 72 hours after the birth of the baby, and up until 60 days after birth. Once this consent is signed, it becomes irrevocable 10 working days after signature.

After you have placed or given your baby up for adoption we are here to support you and help you grieve. Your counselor will be available to talk and meet with you after the adoption placement for as long as you need support. We can help you find support groups and other birth parents to speak with who have gone through the adoption process.

I hope this helps you to understand the process. If you have additional questions Adoption Minnesota is here to help.

Birthmom Focused Adoptions

Adoption Minnesota finds it important to create birthmom focused adoption plans.

 

What is a birthmom focused adoption? It is a plan where the birthmom decides how the adoption will go. Birthmoms have a lot of choices when it comes to adoption and it is important to focus on how they want the process to go. Our agency works with birthmoms to focus on how they want the adoption to happen. Birthmoms can choose the adoptive family, decide how they want the hospital time to go and plan what they want for openness or contact after the placement.

Birthmom focused adoptions are very important. When an adoption focuses on the birthmom’s needs and wants, it allows her to feel better about the adoption. It helps the birthmom grieve and heal knowing that she created a plan to fit what works best for her baby and herself.

We also feel that is best after the placement to continue to focus on the birthmom. Adoption Minnesota continues to support and work with our birthmoms for as long as they need us after they place their newborn for adoption. We meet up with them to counsel them in person at a location of their choice, help them find support groups and talk to other birthmoms if they are interested in doing so.

How to Explain Adoption to Your Children

How to Explain Adoption to Your Children

 

 

Women who have chosen to pursue adoption but already have children at home often wonder how to explain adoption to their children.

 

How do you tell your children you are placing their brother or sister for adoption? Will they understand? Will they be sad or angry?

 

If possible, begin explaining adoption to your children while you are pregnant. Be honest with them, but don’t tell them more than they need to know. Explain how your baby will always be your son or daughter and your children’s brother or sister, but that the baby will be living with another mommy and daddy who are unable to have children on their own.

 

Some ideas to help you with explaining adoption to your child are:

 

Watch Adoption Movies with Your Children – There are many children’s movies that have an adoption theme. Choose movies that are appropriate for your children’s ages, and talk to them about the movie’s adoption theme afterwards.

 

Movies with adoption themes include Meet the Robinsons, The Land Before Time, Annie, Little Stuart, Despicable Me, and Angels in the Outfield. There are countless other adoption-related movies, so search online and find one that you feel is appropriate for your child’s age.

 

Read Adoption Books with Your Children – There are also adoption-themed children’s books that may help prepare your children for the adoption. One such book is Sam’s Sister by Juliet C. Bond. This book explains adoption from the perspective of a young girl whose mother places her younger brother for adoption. Sam’s Sister explains adoption in a positive, reassuring manner for young children to understand.

 

Involve Your Children in the Adoption Process – After you have told your children about your adoption plan, it may be beneficial to involve them in the adoption process. If you feel it is appropriate, include them in meetings with the adoptive parent(s).

 

Allow Your Children to Express Their Emotions – While this is an emotional time for you, remember that your children are also most likely experiencing a wide range of emotions.

 

Encourage your children to express their emotions by having them write letters, draw pictures or make crafts for their brother or sister. You may also take your children shopping to allow them to pick out a special stuffed animal, blanket or anything else that would be a meaningful gift. These activities will encourage your children to express their emotions during this time and to give their brother or sister a special keepsake.

 

After you tell your children about the upcoming adoption, continue to create a safe environment where they are encouraged to share their feelings and where talking about adoption is OK.

 

Remind them that it is normal to feel sad. But also remind them all of the good things that will take place in the baby’s life because of the adoption, and that the baby will always be their brother or sister, no matter what.

Adoption Minnesota is on the Documentary 9 Months by Courtney Cox

Adoption MN has been a part of a documentary that is currently being presented on Facebook Live. This opportunity came to us through local birth parents who had already committed to the production of Nine Months by Courtney Cox during the beginning of the birth mother’s pregnancy.

 

Nine Months follows several different people around the country who have pregnancy situations that involve surrogacy, infertility struggles, a single parent, cancer during pregnancy, etc., all during their nine months of pregnancy. If you are thinking about placing your baby for adoption this may be a helpful documentary to show how the process goes for birth parents.

 

The story that Adoption MN is involved in is the only adoption situation. It follows the birth parents’ pregnancy, adoption choice, how they chose a family, the hospital experience and afterwards.

 

You can watch Nine months by either clicking on the link below or logging into Facebook and clicking on the “watch” tab, then searching for Nine months by Courtney Cox.Several of us have watched the episodes shown so far, and we feel that, for the most part, they have been positive and give a sense of what the “real life” process of planning an adoptive placement looks like. However, we do see how edited the story is and not everything shown is completely accurate.

 

Overall, the show portrays quite a variety of pregnancy related issues, struggles and the desire for and joy of becoming parents. We encourage you to view this series.

https://www.facebook.com/9monthswithcourteneycox

 

10 things birth mothers think about

There are 10 things birth mothers think about, wish for, and hopes for when placing their child for adoption. If you are in an open adoption, you may have heard some already, if not, they are important to know. They are:

I did not place my child because they were unwanted. I wanted them so much that I continued a pregnancy filled with unanswered questions.

I chose adoption because I loved my child. This parental love allowed me to put their needs before my own when making my choice.

This choice affected more than just me. They has a grandmother, a grandfather, and aunts and uncles who love them as well, and they will be missed.

I wish for the day I can look into my child’s eyes and tell them I love them one more time.

I hope that you will teach my child about their beginnings, about where they was born and who I am.

I hope you will teach respect to my child by showing respect for me in your discussions.

I wish I could be there to answer my child’s questions about adoption, but I trust you to answer them truthfully as best you can.

I will never stop thinking about my child. They will always be a part of who I am.

I would never try to disrupt my child’s new family with you. I put too much emotion and suffering into making this choice to allow anything to disrupt it, including me.

In my eyes, you will always be my child’s parents. And that thought brings me happiness.

 

Adoption is About Creating a Plan Not “Giving Up”

If you are just beginning to look into adoption as a birth parent, adoptive parent or adoptee you may hear or read the term “give up”. While this is a common term used by modern society and the media it is actually not the preferred term. It does not positively and realistically speak about the adoption process. It tends to present an outdated version of the process.

 

Birth mothers are not “giving up” their babies. They are doing quite the opposite. They are creating very detailed plans for their children and making sure they are given the very best. It is a very tough decision made from their love and strength for their child. Using the words “give up” makes it seem like it’s a quick decision where a woman gives up her child without any thought or plan.

 

Thankfully women are no longer told that they must hand over or give up there babies without ever hearing from them again, never getting to know how they are doing or telling them how much they are loved.

 

Adoption truly has changed through the decades. Women are now able to create their adoptions to fit their needs. They get to plan how they want things to go. In many adoptions today women create their adoption plans and get to have on going contact with their children through pictures, updates and sometimes visits.

 

Adoption Minnesota and other adoption professionals advocate and prefer to use terms such as “place your baby for adoption,” or “create an adoption plan,” rather than “give up your baby.” We feel that it better reflects the work that goes into finding the right adoptive family and the birth mother’s strength, courage and love for her child.

 

If you want to talk about adoption, the process of have any questions please feel free to call us at 612-333-0593 or email us at info@adoptionmn.com.