“As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have ever done for her.”
I was 23 years old, a single parent of a 4 year old with a full time job and education goals. The father of my baby had left me. I had intended to raise the baby, but I didn’t feel that I had the tools to do this on my own. I could not offer my children a secure future. I wanted my baby to have the support and security of two parents who could fulfill her needs and give her a peaceful childhood full of attention and love.
First, I called Adoption Minnesota to find out about adoption. I felt so comfortable with the woman I talked to that I came in right away to get more information.
On my first visit to the agency, I looked through the book of families. When I saw my adoptive parents’ picture, I just knew they would be my family. I know that sounds silly, but looking back, I think God was guiding me. They were the perfect match. I grew to love them and wanted them to be my child’s parents. They were kind, supportive, and loving people who never pressured me about my decision. They really seemed to care about me. The relationship they had with each other was very loving. They seemed genuine.
I didn’t really decide that I was definitely doing adoption until I met the adoptive parents. Then I prayed a lot, searched my heart, and got to know them. It was finally clear that this was the best decision. A few weeks later, my baby was born.
When my daughter left the hospital with her adoptive parents, I felt very sad and overwhelmed. Everyone, especially the adoptive parents, treated me kindly. That helped me immensely. I was afraid the pain I felt would never end and, at the same time, I really always felt at peace about my daughter’s safety and well-being. I knew she would be in a good, safe, and loving place.
My birth parent counselor was always there to talk to, and after I placed the baby, she was there for me continuously to help me through the grieving process. She always let it be my decision and didn’t ever make me feel incompetent to raise my baby myself if I decided I could.
As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have done for her. I’ve never lost sight of that and am grateful that adoption exists because of how deeply I love her. The adoptive parents’ gift to me was letting me be at peace knowing that she will always be loved, happy and safe.