Looking to Give Your Baby up for Adoption?

Looking to give your baby up for adoption?

Here are 6 steps you may take if you have an unplanned pregnancy and want to work with a private adoption agency:

  1. Deciding adoption is right for you and your baby:

Before even starting the process of “giving a baby up” for adoption, you must take time to learn about the process and if adoption is right for you and your baby/child. Adoption Minnesota is a licensed adoption agency, who explains this process and works with women to educate them on adoption in a non-judging or pressuring way. We believe that you can’t make a decision about giving up your baby until you have all the facts.

  1. Create a private adoption plan for your baby:

At Adoption Minnesota we help you with your unplanned pregnancy. You can create a plan of how you want your adoption to go. You are in control and get to make many of the decisions about how you want the process to go. You get to decide how to go about putting your baby up for adoption in a way that you are comfortable with.

You will be assigned a counselor who will explain your options and go over what you are looking for in a family. They will help you create a hospital plan for labor and delivery along with a plan for openness or ongoing contact after placement.

  1. Choosing an Adoptive Family for your baby:

At Adoption Minnesota we feel that finding an adoptive family that you feel comfortable with is one of the most important parts to placing your baby for adoption. We know how much you love your baby, and therefore it is so important to find a family that you feel is a perfect fit.

All the families at the adoption agency have completed a home study and background checks to ensure they are stable, fully prepared to adopt, and will provide a safe home full of love for an adopted child.

You will be given the opportunity to go through all of our families and get to know them through emails, texts, phone calls and in person visits. Once you have chosen the family that you would like to place with, Adoption Minnesota helps you finish planning the rest of the adoption plan. With a private adoption agency like Adoption Minnesota, you are the one in charge when creating the adoption plan and giving up your baby.

  1. Give Birth/Delivery

The hospital experience will be planned out with your Adoption Minnesota counselor, who will coordinate this plan with your hospital of choice. Much like your adoption plan,  you have full control over your hospital stay. You get to decide if and how much time you want to spend with your baby and if and when you want the adoptive family to come to the hospital.

  1. Complete the Legal Steps to finalize the adoption plan.

Once your baby is born your Adoption Minnesota counselor and your adoption attorney will make sure you understand your rights and the legal aspects of finalizing the adoption.  They will make sure you’re comfortable with your decision before proceeding with the paperwork that gives your consent to the adoption, allowing the adoption to become final.

  1. After placement of your baby for adoption and ongoing contact:

Placing your child for adoption is just the beginning. Rather than “goodbye,” birth parents have the option to have openness and ongoing communication and visits after placement with their child and the adoptive family.

It is up to you to decide what kind of relationship you want to have with your child and the adoptive family after the adoption. Just as you get to decide how to “give up” your baby for adoption, you get to decide how you want your open adoption to look after placement.

  • Typically, women receive updates and photos of their child for 18 years.
  • Many also stay in contact with the adoptive family through emails, phone calls, text messages and social media updates.
  • Some plan in person visits once per year or more.

Adoption Minnesota hopes that this information was helpful. If you have any questions or want to learn more. Please reach out to us at www.adoptionmn.com or call at 612-333-0593!

Pregnant and considering adoption?

Are Pregnant and Considering Adoption?

Adoption Minnesota is a licensed adoption agency in Minnesota. We work with women who are pregnant and considering adoption. We encourage you to make all the key decisions about your pregnancy, your baby, and your adoption. We are there to help you during the pregnancy, birth and for as long after the adoption as you want.

Adoption Minnesota wants you to know that if you are pregnant and considering adoption, we are here to support you through this process. If you would like to learn more about how we can help either fill out an info form or call us at 612-333-0593.

You Are Not “Giving Up” by Choosing Adoption

You Are Not “Giving Up” by Choosing Adoption

You Are Choosing the Best Life Possible for Your Baby

Giving a baby up for adoption isn’t giving up! In the very least it is giving life. Birth mothers have thought long and hard about their adoption plans, they sometimes spend months planning how the adoption will go. They are just trying to choose the best life for their child. It takes an incredible amount of courage to say that you might not be what is best and that you want more for your child then what you can give them right now.

The term “giving up” can be read on websites, heard on TV shows and even be said in causal conversation among friends, but that doesn’t make the term correct. In reality women who create an adoption plan do not “give up” anything, if anything they give.

Birth mothers are making an adoption plan to give their children everything they want for them and may not be able to give them themselves. They give them adoptive families, love, stability, opportunities and much more. Nothing about an adoption plan is giving up.

Adoption has also changed so much through the years. Women no longer are forced to give up their children if they are young, single parents like they were in the past. With an open adoption birth mothers get to choose a family, decide how their adoption will go and also have visits and updates through out the years. They are not giving up, but getting to be in their children’s lives.

Adoption Minnesota wants women to know that it is not giving up in any way. It is making a plan for a child that hopefully is best for them and also for you. If you have any questions about the process or adoption please contact us at 612-333-0593 or info@adoptionmn.com.

Adoption is About Creating a Plan Not “Giving Up a Baby”

Adoption is About Creating a Plan Not “Giving Up a Baby”

If you are just beginning to look into adoption as a birth parent, adoptive parent or adoptee you may hear or read the term “give up”. While this is a common term used by modern society and the media it is actually not the preferred term. It does not positively and realistically speak about the adoption process. It tends to present an outdated version of the process.

Birth mothers are not “giving up” their babies. They are doing quite the opposite. They are creating very detailed plans for their children and making sure they are given the very best. It is a very tough decision made from their love and strength for their child. Using the words “give up” makes it seem like it’s a quick decision where a woman gives up her child without any thought or plan.

Thankfully women are no longer told that they must hand over or give up there babies without ever hearing from them again, never getting to know how they are doing or telling them how much they are loved.

Adoption truly has changed through the decades. Women are now able to create private adoptions to fit their needs. They get to plan how they want their child’s adoption to go. In many adoptions today women create their adoption plans and get to have on going contact with their children through pictures, updates and sometimes visits.

Adoption Minnesota and other adoption professionals advocate and prefer to use terms such as “place your baby for adoption,” or “create an adoption plan,” rather than “give up your baby.” We feel that it better reflects the work that goes into finding the right adoptive family and the birth mother’s strength, courage and love for her child.

If you want to talk about private adoption, the process or have any questions please feel free to call us at 612-333-0593 or email us at info@adoptionmn.com.

The Hospital Experience: Things to Remember

Remember: The Birth Mother is the hospital’s patient. You are a guest of the birth mother, not the hospital’s client. Their concern is the health and well-being of the birth mother and the baby, not the comfort and needs of her guests.

Respect hospital policy–be flexible! Hospital policies regarding adoption can be different at every hospital. Everything from your access to the baby and his/her physician, to the hospital’s discharge policy may be evolving. Stay flexible and calm–Wellspring’s staff will be there to help.

Express concern, interest and care directly to the Birth Parent. Talk to the birth mother when you are in her presence. Include her in your attention. Don’t just look at and talk to the baby.

Let the Birth Mother retain control of the baby in your presence. Let the birth mother hand you the baby; don’t take the baby out of her arms. Similarly, stay in the background while the birth mother has as much time as she wants with the baby.

Don’t bring your family and friends to the hospital, unless the Birth Mother has met and invited them. The hospital is not the place to introduce your family and friends to the baby. The hospital patient is the birth mother. Her friends and family will be visiting; this may be their only chance to see the child. Consider the highly emotional state of the birth mother, and don’t intrude and possibly upset the birth mother with unfamiliar faces.

Try to take one day, one hour, at a time. This is an exciting, highly emotional time. But it is in your best interest to try and sustain a little emotional distance until arrangements are finalized.

If the Birth Mother chooses to participate in the transfer, let her be proactive. Wait for the birth mother to give you the baby. Don’t take the baby away from her. Similarly, let the birth mother be the first to leave the room or drive away after the transfer is completed. It is important for her healing process that she not have an image of the baby being taken from her.

Talk to the Birth Mother about what she wants you to do during labor and delivery. Think about your comfort level. Don’t agree to participate in a way that makes you uncomfortable. In turn, don’t urge the birth mother to include you in any way that makes her uncomfortable.

Ready your support system. Awaiting a baby’s birth is never easy. Let your friends and family know how they can help you–emotionally and logistically. Let them know you’ll need support over the telephone –but not at the hospital–once the big day arrives

Each Birth Parent is unique. There is no way to know how the birth mother will react to the birth experience, what support she will seek, how she will emotionally and physically respond to delivery and the hormonal shift that follows delivery.

Emotions surrounding birth are some of life’s most intense. Be prepared to see the birth mother display extremely strong emotions. Any emotion from deep sadness to withdrawal can surface at any time from labor through the transfer. This is normal.

The Birth Mother will experience dramatic emotional shifts. Within the first 48 hours following birth, the birth mother will live on an emotional and physical roller coaster. She will experience labor and delivery, hormonal shift, physical recovery and the initial stages of detachment. Exhaustion, adrenaline and fluctuating hormones can bring powerful emotional shifts. This is normal.

Expect surprises. No matter how well you and the birth mother have planned for the hospital, or how good your communication is, expect pre-made plans to change. Nothing can really prepare the birth mother for what she will experience during and after the birth. As her emotions fluctuate, so will her needs. This is to be expected.

Birth Parents must say “hello” “see you later” and “good-bye.” Birth parents may need time alone with the baby to realistically come to terms with their decision to place the child with the adoptive family. The hospital provides the best time and place for them to begin to face and accept their decision. Don’t automatically fear the private time between the birth parents and the baby.

Think of the first 48 hours as belonging to the Birth Mother. In most cases, the birth mother feels very deeply about the child. Frequently, she perceives that she has the first 48 hours, and the adoptive parents have the rest of the child’s life. Don’t misinterpret a lack of willingness to include adoptive parents in the hospital time as “having second thoughts.”

The Birth Parents’ families and friends may be protective of the Birth Mother. The frustration of not being able to alleviate the emotional distress of the birth mother may translate into unhappiness or coldness toward all those involved in the situation, including the adoptive parents.

The hospital’s personnel will focus concerns on the Birth Mother. Regardless of the hospital’s policies regarding independent adoption, employees are individuals who may have a wide range of feelings toward adoption. For some staff members, independent adoption may be a totally alien practice. Remember, you’re dealing with individuals and their reactions may not reflect hospital policy. As always, call on the Wellspring staff if the need arises.

Be prepared for your own emotions as you separate from the Birth Mother after the transfer. After weeks or perhaps months of working together with your birth mother toward the common goal of a healthy birth, it may be very challenging to emotionally separate from her after your child’s transfer. Conflicting emotions that have arisen from time to time during the pregnancy may set as the birth becomes imminent. This insecurity is normal and is frequently experienced by birth parents as well as adoptive parents.

How to Give Your Baby up for Adoption

How to Give Your Baby up for Adoption

Finding out that you are having an unplanned pregnancy can be a really scary time. Many birth parents feel overwhelmed about what to do and find it hard to get accurate information about their options. Adoption Minnesota, one of the biggest adoption agencies in Minnesota wants to help teach you about the adoption process and how to give your baby up for adoption.

The first step in giving your baby up for adoption is to call an adoption counselor. Adoption Minnesota counselors are available day and night to talk with you and support you through this process of placing your newborn or child for adoption.

The next step is finding an adoptive family. Adoption Minnesota has many families for you to choose from. After you decide which family you are interested in, you can proceed however you’d like. You may call, email or meet with adoptive parents. You can communicate your plan directly through your adoption counselor also. browse waiting families»

After you have decided on which family you would like to give your baby to we sit down and create an adoption plan. Adoption Minnesota can help you create an adoption plan that fits your needs. Your counselor will assist you in planning your hospital stay. You can decide on spending time with your baby and/or the adoptive parents, if that is what you desire. You can also create a plan for future contact with your child and the adoptive parents that can include photos, updates and possible visits. Giving your baby up for adoption is a really hard process and many birth parents want to have some openness after the placement, so that they know how their child is doing.

After you have placed or given your baby up for adoption we are here to support you and help you grieve. Your counselor will be available to talk and meet with you after the adoption placement for as long as you need support. We can help you find support groups and other birth parents to speak with who have gone through the adoption process.

If you have additional questions Adoption Minnesota is here to help. You can reach us at info@adoptionmn.com or through our website www.adoptionmn.com

 

Birthmom Focused Adoptions

Adoption Minnesota Finds it Important to Create Birth Mom Focused Adoption Plans.

Adoption Minnesota is one of the biggest adoption agencies in Minnesota. We believe that it is important for women thinking about placing their child for adoption to decide how the adoption will go. Birth mothers have a lot of choices when it comes to adoption and it is important to focus on how they want the process to go. Birth mothers can choose the adoptive family, decide how they want the hospital time to go and plan what they want for openness or contact after the placement.

Birth mother focused adoptions are very important. When an adoption focuses on the birth mother’s needs and wants, it allows her to feel better about giving her baby up for adoption. It helps birth mothers grieve and heal, knowing that she created a plan to fit what works best for her baby and herself.

Adoption Minnesota also feels that it is best after the placement to continue to focus on the birth mother. Adoption Minnesota continues to support and work with our birth mothers for as long as they need us after they place their newborn for adoption. We meet up with them to counsel them in person at a location of their choice, help them find support groups and talk to other birth mothers if they are interested in doing so.

If you know anyone looking do give up their baby for adoption in Minnesota please have them reach out to our agency. We are here to support them through this process and after. We want to make sure they they feel supported and good about their plan for adoption.

Angela’s story

“As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have ever done for her.”

I was 23 years old, a single parent of a 4 year old with a full time job and education goals. The father of my baby had left me. I had intended to raise the baby, but I didn’t feel that I had the tools to do this on my own. I could not offer my children a secure future. I wanted my baby to have the support and security of two parents who could fulfill her needs and give her a peaceful childhood full of attention and love.

First, I called Adoption Minnesota to find out about adoption. I felt so comfortable with the woman I talked to that I came in right away to get more information.

On my first visit to the agency, I looked through the book of families. When I saw my adoptive parents’ picture, I just knew they would be my family. I know that sounds silly, but looking back, I think God was guiding me. They were the perfect match. I grew to love them and wanted them to be my child’s parents. They were kind, supportive, and loving people who never pressured me about my decision. They really seemed to care about me. The relationship they had with each other was very loving. They seemed genuine.

I didn’t really decide that I was definitely doing adoption until I met the adoptive parents. Then I prayed a lot, searched my heart, and got to know them. It was finally clear that this was the best decision. A few weeks later, my baby was born.

When my daughter left the hospital with her adoptive parents, I felt very sad and overwhelmed. Everyone, especially the adoptive parents, treated me kindly. That helped me immensely. I was afraid the pain I felt would never end and, at the same time, I really always felt at peace about my daughter’s safety and well-being. I knew she would be in a good, safe, and loving place.

My birth parent counselor was always there to talk to, and after I placed the baby, she was there for me continuously to help me through the grieving process. She always let it be my decision and didn’t ever make me feel incompetent to raise my baby myself if I decided I could.

As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have done for her. I’ve never lost sight of that and am grateful that adoption exists because of how deeply I love her. The adoptive parents’ gift to me was letting me be at peace knowing that she will always be loved, happy and safe.

unplanned pregnancy help, newborn adoption, putting up baby for adoption

Malia’s Story

“If you would have asked me about adoption before I was pregnant I would have said that I could never go through with it.  Now that I have I can’t imagine what my life would have been if I hadn’t!

I was fifteen and a sophomore in high school when I found out that I was pregnant. I had just played in a basketball game and came home feeling horrible. I went to the doctor the next day and was told the surprising news that I was pregnant. I didn’t believe my doctor at first. How could this have happened? Not to me! My boyfriend at the time was also in high school, and both of us knew that we were not ready to parent. I wanted to finish school and go to college. I was too far along in my pregnancy to get an abortion, so we knew that adoption was the right choice.

My mom helped me find an adoption agency and set up a meeting for an adoption worker to come to our house. I was so nervous! I thought that it would be some old woman who would tell me what I needed to do. I could not have been more wrong. The worker came and made me feel comfortable right away. She told me that I got a lot of choices through this process. She told me that I got to choose the family, decide how I wanted the adoption to go, and also have contact after placing.

My boyfriend and I went through the book of families. We chose one to meet with. They came to our house to meet because we thought that would be easiest for us. Everyone was so nervous at our first meeting, but after they left, we both said that they were the ones. We asked them to meet us again and we told them in person that we were choosing them. Everyone was crying and hugging. It felt really good.

When it came time to deliver, the family was in the waiting room. We wanted them to meet their daughter as soon as she was born. They had a separate room at the hospital and it was nice to have some time with them and our baby and also some time alone with her. When we all left the hospital, there were more tears, but they were good tears. We had all been through so much together and truly cared for each other. Even though it was extremely hard, we knew that we would be seeing each other and be in each other’s lives forever. That made it a little easier.

Since placing, I have seen my daughter a few times a year. It has been really amazing having her in my life. She got to come to one of my basketball games and meet my team. It was so incredible to see her cheering in the stands. If you had asked me about adoption before I was pregnant I would have said that I could never go through with it.  Now that I have I can’t imagine what my life would have been if I hadn’t!

 

Commonly Asked Questions by Women Thinking About Placing for Adoption

Commonly asked Questions by Women Thinking About Placing for Adoption

At Adoption Minnesota, we do independent adoptions. Adoptive parents and birth parents plan their own adoption. There are no rules or policies that must be followed, so every adoption is unique. It is up to the birth and adoptive parents to decide how they want their adoptions to go. Birth parents are also guaranteed that only the family they choose can adopt the child.

1. Do I get to choose a family to adopt my baby?

Yes. You are able to choose the family you would like to place your child with. You can either choose one of the many families that Adoption Minnesota is working with, or if you know of someone who you would like to place with we can help you work with them too.

2. Can I get to know the adoptive family?

Absolutely. Many birth parents find it important to get to know the family before they chose them, and even more afterwards. We want you to feel comfortable with the family before you move forward with them. Many adoptive parents are open to having contact through phone, email and in-person visits.

3. What process do adoptive parents have to go through?

All Adoptive parents must go through an extensive process called a home study, before being approved to adopt a child. They must provide the agency with recent medical exams, financial information and complete a criminal background check among many other things.

4. Does my baby have to go into foster care after it is born?

No. Typically the baby goes home directly from the hospital with the adoptive parents. However, if the birth parent is uncomfortable with that, or is having a hard time deciding what to do, someone else can do short term care for the baby until the birth parent makes a decision on how they want to move forward.

5. Can I have a relationship with my child after placement?

In most cases birth parents and adoptive families can have openness and a relationship after placement. Birth parents and adoptive parents can make an agreement about exchanging future information. This can include having updates and pictures sent to them or even visits. It also includes arrangements for exchanging any future medical information, which might be important for the adopted child or birth parent.

6. Does the birth father have to be involved?

No. While it is a good idea to involve the birth father if he is at all willing, it is not required in Minnesota unless he is married to the birth mother, living with the birth mother, or is on the baby’s birth certificate. If he does nothing to take legal action to have himself declared the father of the child, his rights are automatically terminated a certain number of days after the child’s birth.

7. How long do I have to change my mind after placing for adoption?

You can change your mind about placing your baby until your written consent becomes final. In Minnesota the earliest a birth parent can sign a consent is 72 hours after the baby is born, and you must sign within 60 days from birth. You have 10 working days from the date you sign the consent before it becomes irrevocable and final.

8. How much will adoption cost me?

Adoption Minnesota does not charge the birth parents anything for the services provided to them. We are here to help you through this process and create a plan for your child. In many cases the birth parents legal fees are also paid for.

9. Can I get help with my expenses?

In Minnesota an adoptive family can help the birth mother by paying certain expenses for her. Generally the courts will allow them to pay for such things as maternity clothing, living expenses, and transportation to and from medical appointments. They can also pay for the birth mother’s legal fees, medical bills and any counseling she wants to help her cope through the adoption.

10. Will I have support after the placement?

Not only will you be supported throughout your placement, your counselor can offer you ongoing adoption support as long as needed. There are also adoption support groups, retreats and other birth parents who have gone through this process who are willing to talk and meet with you if desired. We are here for you.

 

If you have any questions feel free to call us at 612-333-0593 or email us at info@adoptionmn.com