Angela’s story

“As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have ever done for her.”

I was 23 years old, a single parent of a 4 year old with a full time job and education goals. The father of my baby had left me. I had intended to raise the baby, but I didn’t feel that I had the tools to do this on my own. I could not offer my children a secure future. I wanted my baby to have the support and security of two parents who could fulfill her needs and give her a peaceful childhood full of attention and love.

First, I called Adoption Minnesota to find out about adoption. I felt so comfortable with the woman I talked to that I came in right away to get more information.

On my first visit to the agency, I looked through the book of families. When I saw my adoptive parents’ picture, I just knew they would be my family. I know that sounds silly, but looking back, I think God was guiding me. They were the perfect match. I grew to love them and wanted them to be my child’s parents. They were kind, supportive, and loving people who never pressured me about my decision. They really seemed to care about me. The relationship they had with each other was very loving. They seemed genuine.

I didn’t really decide that I was definitely doing adoption until I met the adoptive parents. Then I prayed a lot, searched my heart, and got to know them. It was finally clear that this was the best decision. A few weeks later, my baby was born.

When my daughter left the hospital with her adoptive parents, I felt very sad and overwhelmed. Everyone, especially the adoptive parents, treated me kindly. That helped me immensely. I was afraid the pain I felt would never end and, at the same time, I really always felt at peace about my daughter’s safety and well-being. I knew she would be in a good, safe, and loving place.

My birth parent counselor was always there to talk to, and after I placed the baby, she was there for me continuously to help me through the grieving process. She always let it be my decision and didn’t ever make me feel incompetent to raise my baby myself if I decided I could.

As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have done for her. I’ve never lost sight of that and am grateful that adoption exists because of how deeply I love her. The adoptive parents’ gift to me was letting me be at peace knowing that she will always be loved, happy and safe.

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Jodi’s Story

“Seeing him in their arms and how happy they were actually helped me. I could tell from the moment that he was born that they loved him with all their hearts.”

 I found out that I was pregnant when I was 37. I was already parenting a 16, 10 and 6 year old on my own. We were struggling as it was, and I didn’t feel like I could parent another child on my own. The birth father was an addict and I knew that he would not help. I wanted this child to have more than what I could give him right now.

I found my adoptive parents through a mutual friend. From the first time I met them, it felt like we were all family. They treated my daughters and I like we were extended family members and really wanted to have us in their lives.  We spent many months getting to know them better.  We met at restaurants, parks and even their home.

The farther along I got in my pregnancy, the harder it got for me emotionally. I knew that adoption was the right choice and that I had found a great family, but it was extremely hard. My kids had a hard time, too, because they were so excited for a baby. I had to keep explaining to them that we would still see their brother, but that he would be living with another family.

When the day came, labor went pretty quickly. The adoptive parents were in the room with me during delivery and were a big help. After he was born, we all cried together because we were happy and sad at the same time. Seeing him in their arms and how happy they were actually helped me. I could tell from the moment that he was born that they loved him with all their hearts. It made me feel better about the situation and that I could do this for both them and him.

Since the adoption happened, we have had visits a few times a year and I get lots of pictures updating me on how he is doing. The adoptive parents and I continue to have a great relationship. Adoption was both one of the hardest and one of the best things that I have ever done.

 

 

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Amy’s Story

“I am very proud of my decision. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.”

I was 18 years old and a senior in high school when I learned I was pregnant. I have always known about adoption. For many years I have said that if I were ever in the situation where abortion would be a solution, I would choose adoption without a second thought.

I decided adoption was the best choice for my baby as soon as his father failed to accept the responsibility of being “dad.” For me, keeping my son could have been an unbelievable struggle. I had six years of college to finish that most likely would have had to wait. Most of all I didn’t want my son to grow up without a mom and a dad.

I chose the adoptive parents myself. I looked through book of families. Some had children, some didn’t. Each couple had photos and a brief biography about themselves, their children and pets. When I got to the last page, I knew as soon as I saw their pictures that they were the ones. I got to keep their profile from the book.
When I looked at them, I could see parts of my life in theirs. Also, when I read their letter, it was almost as if God had answered my prayers right then and there. Everything that was really important to me seemed to be right there in their family.

I struggled with many emotions at different times in my pregnancy. Sometimes, I wished that I wasn’t pregnant so that I could do more with my friends. Towards the end, I was on bed rest and sick, so I wanted it all to be over. Then, when I had him, I wished it wasn’t all over.

My birth parent counselor was always there for me, and I always had options. She wasn’t saying this is the way you have to do it. She asked me how I wanted things to happen. She let me know I could change things if I wanted, and that was really important to me.

I had a very fast and easy delivery. My boyfriend was there, and everyone at the hospital was great. They respected me for my decision and let me have as much time as I wanted with my son. It was a very emotional time. I had second thoughts and more second thoughts. I cried a lot, but I knew my situation was still the same.

When it came time to leave the hospital, I had things set up a special way so it wasn’t so hard. My boyfriend came to get me before the adoptive parents got there so I didn’t have to see him leave with anyone else.

It was the HARDEST day of my life. I was depressed. It was comparable to losing someone you love, but you know they are still alive. It was very hard. Many, many thanks to my parents, boyfriend and counselor. Without these people, I could never have gone through with it.

I am very proud of my decision. I get pictures, updates, and visits. My son is cuter then ever! Every time I see how happy he is, any doubt I ever had goes away. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.

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Amber’s Story

“Going into this process, I never imagined how amazing adoption could be. Even though it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also one of the best ones, too!”

I first found out I was pregnant when I was in my first semester of my freshman year of college. I was terrified about thinking about what I should do. I was still hanging out with the birth father, but we weren’t serious. I remember talking with my mom and she said that she would support whatever choice I made, but asked if I ever thought of adoption. She said that we had family members who were adopted and others who were planning on adopting. I researched a great deal online before I contacted the birth father to tell him I was pregnant and also thinking about doing an adoption.

I was so freaking scared making that call. He was 4 years older then me and I thought for sure he would want to parent! We met up and I told him about the pregnancy. He was in complete shock and said, “What are we going to do? We have no money!” I explained to him that I wanted to look into adoption and what it would look like if we placed. His face looked so relieved.  He agreed that he thought that it would be the right choice. He said that he would like to have an open adoption because he couldn’t imagine saying goodbye forever.

We met with a counselor at Adoption Minnesota. She was incredibly helpful and answered all of our questions. She showed us the book of families and we picked out a bunch that we were interested in. We then set up a meeting with one of the families to meet them in person.

When the meeting day came, I was totally freaked out! Would they like me? Would it be weird? Would I like them? We met at a restaurant near my house. The meeting went better than I could have dreamed of. They were PERFECT! We spent most of the meeting just getting to know each other. They made me feel like they really cared about the birth father and I and were not just in it to get my baby. We called them that night to tell them that they were the ones.  Their reactions and pure happiness is something I will always remember.

When my daughter was born, I realized what people were talking about when they said that you could love someone at first sight. She was adorable and perfect. My mom, along with the birth father and his mother, and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital holding her and getting to know the adoptive parents even more.

When the day came that we were all leaving the hospital, I had so many emotions. I was incredibly sad and even jealous that they were going to get to go home with her. I also felt relieved that I didn’t have to become a parent when I wasn’t ready. I was happy for them and her, too, because I knew that they would give her the very best. When we were leaving the hospital together, my adoptive parents said to me, “Now remember, this isn’t goodbye. She will forever be in your life and will know about how much love went into this decision.”

Going into this process, I never imagined how amazing adoption could be. I get to see my daughter often and get updates on how she is doing and growing. Even though it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also one of the best ones, too! I know that she is taken care of and has the best dads in the world.