How to give your baby up for adoption

The decision to give a baby up for adoption is a significant and emotional one. If you are considering this option, it’s important to understand the adoption process and seek support throughout the journey. Here’s a general overview of what the adoption process looks like through Adoption Minnesota:

  1. Research and Consideration: Take the time to research different adoption agencies. You will need to think about whether you want to work with a local agency near you, such as Adoption Minnesota, or national agency. You will also want to consider the type of adoption you want, such as closed, semi-open, or an open adoption.
  2. Counseling and Support: It’s crucial to seek counseling and support throughout this process. Adoption Minnesota provides counseling services to birth parents to help them understand their options and make informed decisions. Giving your baby up for adoption can be scary and feel overwhelming if you do not have support and someone to walk you through the process.
  3. Select an Adoptive Family: You can look at profiles of prospective adoptive families and choose the family you feel is the best fit for your baby. At Adoption Minnesota you also have the ability to meet families in person or online and get to know them before you chose them as adoptive parents.
  4. Create an Adoption Plan: Adoption Minnesota helps you create an adoption plan that fits your wants and needs. This plan will outline your desires for openness and your hospital time and post-placement plans and contact. Adoption Minnesota will also help explain the differences between semi and open adoptions. An open adoption would allow you to receive photos and updates on your child and may include visits if that is what you want.
  5. Legal Process: Once you’ve chosen an adoptive family, you’ll work with your adoption attorney to complete the legal aspects of the adoption. Adoption Minnesota helps you find an attorney. Having your own attorney will help you understand your rights and the legal process of the adoption.
  6. Hospital Stay: Adoption Minnesota helps you create a hospital plan that outlines your wishes for delivery, spending time with baby in the hospital and if you want the adoptive parents present at the hospital.
  7. Post-Placement Support: After your baby is born and the adoption is finalized, in an open adoption you may receive ongoing support and counseling to help you through the grieving process and to adjust to life after giving your baby up for adoption. Adoption Minnesota provides counseling for as long after the placement as you want or desire along with resources for support groups and speaking to other birth parents.

It’s important to note that the adoption process can feel difficult to navigate on your own. Therefore, it’s essential to work closely with an adoption agency like Adoption Minnesota who can guide you through the process of giving your baby up for adoption and provide the support you need during and after placement, whether you chose to have a closed or open adoption.

DISCLAIMER: Adoption Minnesota wants you to know that while we prefer positive adoption language such as “placing your baby for adoption” or “making an adoption plan”, we use “giving up my baby” and other terms in our blog and posts because many times women just starting their adoption journey use these terms.

Open Adoption

In most of the adoptions at Adoption Minnesota, a local adoption agency in Minnesota, there are some amounts of openness after the adoption placement. Openness in adoption can mean a lot of things and can vary. It can mean that adoptive parents provide the birth parents with updates, photos, and letters throughout the years after placement.  It can also mean that the adoptive family gets together with birth parents for in person visits throughout the child’s life.  Of course, the degree of openness depends upon the wishes and comfort level of the birth parents and the adoptive parents.

Adoption Minnesota has been around for over 33 years, and we have found that each birth parent and adoption is different. Some women want semi open adoptions while others want open adoptions with visits with their children.  We make sure that your adoption is tailored to how you feel comfortable with post adoption, it is not a one fits everyone situation. Since we are a local adoption agency you have easy access to us.

We at Adoption Minnesota see that open adoption can be very successful and can benefit everyone in the adoption triad. Some of the benefits of choosing an open adoption are:

  • Getting access to medical health information so that you know your child’s medical history and have access to the birth family if something comes up through the years.
  • Allowing both sides to know how each other is doing and sharing accomplishments through the years.
  • Giving your child the opportunity to have a bond and knowledge of where they came from.
  • Allowing birth parents to know that their child is safe, happy and healthy.

If you are looking into adoption and want more information about the process, or what open adoption looks like please reach out by either emailing info@adoptionmn.com or calling at 612-333-0489. Adoption Minnesota staff is here to help! Again, we are a local adoption agency, meaning our office is in Minnesota, so we can come to you and meet in person, wherever it works best for you.

 

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Jodi’s Story

“Seeing him in their arms and how happy they were actually helped me. I could tell from the moment that he was born that they loved him with all their hearts.”

 I found out that I was pregnant when I was 37. I was already parenting a 16, 10 and 6 year old on my own. We were struggling as it was, and I didn’t feel like I could parent another child on my own. The birth father was an addict and I knew that he would not help. I wanted this child to have more than what I could give him right now.

I found my adoptive parents through a mutual friend. From the first time I met them, it felt like we were all family. They treated my daughters and I like we were extended family members and really wanted to have us in their lives.  We spent many months getting to know them better.  We met at restaurants, parks and even their home.

The farther along I got in my pregnancy, the harder it got for me emotionally. I knew that adoption was the right choice and that I had found a great family, but it was extremely hard. My kids had a hard time, too, because they were so excited for a baby. I had to keep explaining to them that we would still see their brother, but that he would be living with another family.

When the day came, labor went pretty quickly. The adoptive parents were in the room with me during delivery and were a big help. After he was born, we all cried together because we were happy and sad at the same time. Seeing him in their arms and how happy they were actually helped me. I could tell from the moment that he was born that they loved him with all their hearts. It made me feel better about the situation and that I could do this for both them and him.

Since the adoption happened, we have had visits a few times a year and I get lots of pictures updating me on how he is doing. The adoptive parents and I continue to have a great relationship. Adoption was both one of the hardest and one of the best things that I have ever done.

 

 

Laura’s Story

“I know her adoptive family will love her unconditionally and give her opportunities I never could have provided. I feel at peace with my decision.”

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was in the middle of my senior year of college. My boyfriend and I had been together for almost two years, but we both knew we were in no place to raise a child. I really didn’t have any idea how to begin the adoption process, but I decided just to email a counselor at Adoption Minnesota.

Beginning with the very first email, I knew this was the agency I wanted to work with. Eventually, we scheduled an appointment to get the ball rolling. My counselor was absolutely nothing but wonderful from step one. She gave me all the information I ever could have needed, everything from explaining my rights as a birthmother to helping me find a doctor. She was incredibly available to help in any way, or just to chat. But most importantly, she always made me feel like I was making a good decision.

Then came the difficult part; choosing an adoptive family. I spent a lot of time looking through Adoption Minnesota’s book of potential families. Each family had such a touching story, and I felt like each completely deserved to get a baby! Eventually, I developed a gut feeling about one family. I scheduled a meeting with them and walked away knowing they were the perfect choice. From there, the counselors at Adoption Minnesota helped us hammer out all the details. Together, we decided everything from when the adoptive parents would come to the hospital to how often I wanted letters and pictures after they took my baby home. My counselor always reinforced that I was in control of the situation and I could choose exactly how I wanted everything to go.

The adoptive parents and I emailed almost every day from that point on. We even met a few times for coffee. I loved getting to know them better, which only solidified that I had made the right choice. Finally, the day came to go to the hospital! The experience was the most amazing of my entire life. At one point during the day after my daughter was born, my counselor, the adoptive parents, my boyfriend, my baby and I were all in one room together. It truly felt like we were all one family. When you decide to give up your baby for adoption, you can’t help but feel completely guilty. However, I knew that if I was going to bring a new little person into the world, she deserved to have the best life I could possibly give her. Giving her to an adoptive family was the way for me to accomplish this. I’ve never loved anything like I love my daughter. However, I know her adoptive family will love her unconditionally and give her opportunities I never could have provided. I feel at peace with my decision. I never would have gotten through everything without the love and support of my boyfriend, the adoptive parents, and most importantly, my counselor at Adoption Minnesota.

Jeff & Beth’s Adoption Story

It all began with a phone call from our Adoptive Parent Counselor and these words: “Hi, this is Robyn. I’ve got a situation that I’d like to talk to you about.” But wait… it didn’t all begin there… it began before that with an Orientation Meeting at Adoption Minnesota.

From the minute we walked into Adoption Minnesota, we knew that we were in the right place. We had visited other agencies, but none of them felt right, none of them felt like “us.” A friend of a friend told us about Adoption Minnesota. She had adopted her daughter through them and said so many positive things, we knew we had to check them out.READ MORE

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Amy’s Story

“I am very proud of my decision. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.”

I was 18 years old and a senior in high school when I learned I was pregnant. I have always known about adoption. For many years I have said that if I were ever in the situation where abortion would be a solution, I would choose adoption without a second thought.

I decided adoption was the best choice for my baby as soon as his father failed to accept the responsibility of being “dad.” For me, keeping my son could have been an unbelievable struggle. I had six years of college to finish that most likely would have had to wait. Most of all I didn’t want my son to grow up without a mom and a dad.

I chose the adoptive parents myself. I looked through book of families. Some had children, some didn’t. Each couple had photos and a brief biography about themselves, their children and pets. When I got to the last page, I knew as soon as I saw their pictures that they were the ones. I got to keep their profile from the book.
When I looked at them, I could see parts of my life in theirs. Also, when I read their letter, it was almost as if God had answered my prayers right then and there. Everything that was really important to me seemed to be right there in their family.

I struggled with many emotions at different times in my pregnancy. Sometimes, I wished that I wasn’t pregnant so that I could do more with my friends. Towards the end, I was on bed rest and sick, so I wanted it all to be over. Then, when I had him, I wished it wasn’t all over.

My birth parent counselor was always there for me, and I always had options. She wasn’t saying this is the way you have to do it. She asked me how I wanted things to happen. She let me know I could change things if I wanted, and that was really important to me.

I had a very fast and easy delivery. My boyfriend was there, and everyone at the hospital was great. They respected me for my decision and let me have as much time as I wanted with my son. It was a very emotional time. I had second thoughts and more second thoughts. I cried a lot, but I knew my situation was still the same.

When it came time to leave the hospital, I had things set up a special way so it wasn’t so hard. My boyfriend came to get me before the adoptive parents got there so I didn’t have to see him leave with anyone else.

It was the HARDEST day of my life. I was depressed. It was comparable to losing someone you love, but you know they are still alive. It was very hard. Many, many thanks to my parents, boyfriend and counselor. Without these people, I could never have gone through with it.

I am very proud of my decision. I get pictures, updates, and visits. My son is cuter then ever! Every time I see how happy he is, any doubt I ever had goes away. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.