Navigating Unwanted Pregnancy: Considering Adoption

Discovering an unwanted pregnancy can be overwhelming and bring about a whirlwind of emotions. For those facing this situation, it’s important to remember that you have pregnancy options and support available. Adoption Minnesota, a local adoption agency who specializes in counseling women who are having an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy about their options and the services available to them. 

There are many complex feelings that can arise with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. Confusion, fear, and uncertainty are all normal reactions. Adoption Minnesota meets with women in person, in their homes or anywhere convenient for them to discuss their options, answer their questions and help them create a plan of what they want to do.

One pregnancy option that deserves careful consideration is adoption. Adoption Minnesota supports you through the adoption process. Empowering you to make the key decisions about your adoption plan. You can have a say in choosing the adoptive family, and help in creating a post adoption plan for openness. Throughout the adoption process, you’ll have access to counseling and support services to help you navigate the emotional journey.It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Whether you’re looking for information about unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, guidance, or emotional support, reaching out is the first step towards making an informed decision. If you want to speak to an adoption specialist about your options for your unwanted pregnancy and details on the adoption process you can reach Adoption Minnesota at www.adoptionmn.com.

Pregnancy Options: Exploring Adoption

Pregnancy can be a life-altering experience filled with many emotions. For some individuals faced with an unexpected pregnancy, exploring adoption can help them know what to do. At Adoption Minnesota, a local adoption agency in Minnesota we provide pregnancy options counseling to help women understand their options. Placing your baby for adoption can be an empowering choice for those who may not be ready or able to parent but wish to provide their child with a stable and loving home. There are many things to consider when looking into your pregnancy options and adoption. 

Why Choose Adoption?

Adoption can be a choice that benefits both the birth parents and the child. Here are some reasons why someone might consider the pregnancy option of adoption:

Opportunity for the Child: Adoption opens doors to opportunities that birth parents might not be able to provide, such as access to education, healthcare, and emotional support.

Personal Growth: For birth parents, adoption can be an opportunity to focus on personal growth, creating a new future or can allow them to care for children they are already parenting, without the added pressure and stress of providing for a newborn.

Provide Stability: Choosing adoption can ensure that the child will grow up in a stable and nurturing environment, often with parents who have been longing to start or expand their family.

Control and Involvement: Birth parents can have varying levels of involvement in the adoption process, from selecting the adoptive family to deciding on the level of ongoing contact post-adoption. There are many families that are open to even having in person visits after placement. 

Choosing adoption is a deeply personal decision that requires careful consideration. If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption as a pregnancy option, know that there are resources and support available to guide you through this journey. Reach out to Adoption Minnesota to speak with one of their pregnancy options counselors over the phone or in person at 612-333-0593. 

Remember, exploring your pregnancy options can give you the knowledge you need to make the best plan for yourself and your child. 

 

You Are Not “Giving Up” by Choosing Adoption

You Are Not “Giving Up” by Choosing Adoption

You Are Choosing the Best Life Possible for Your Baby

Giving a baby up for adoption isn’t giving up! In the very least it is giving life. Birth mothers have thought long and hard about their adoption plans, they sometimes spend months planning how the adoption will go. They are just trying to choose the best life for their child. It takes an incredible amount of courage to say that you might not be what is best and that you want more for your child then what you can give them right now.

The term “giving up” can be read on websites, heard on TV shows and even be said in causal conversation among friends, but that doesn’t make the term correct. In reality women who create an adoption plan do not “give up” anything, if anything they give.

Birth mothers are making an adoption plan to give their children everything they want for them and may not be able to give them themselves. They give them adoptive families, love, stability, opportunities and much more. Nothing about an adoption plan is giving up.

Adoption has also changed so much through the years. Women no longer are forced to give up their children if they are young, single parents like they were in the past. With an open adoption birth mothers get to choose a family, decide how their adoption will go and also have visits and updates through out the years. They are not giving up, but getting to be in their children’s lives.

Adoption Minnesota wants women to know that it is not giving up in any way. It is making a plan for a child that hopefully is best for them and also for you. If you have any questions about the process or adoption please contact us at 612-333-0593 or info@adoptionmn.com.

The Hospital Experience: Things to Remember

Remember: The Birth Mother is the hospital’s patient. You are a guest of the birth mother, not the hospital’s client. Their concern is the health and well-being of the birth mother and the baby, not the comfort and needs of her guests.

Respect hospital policy–be flexible! Hospital policies regarding adoption can be different at every hospital. Everything from your access to the baby and his/her physician, to the hospital’s discharge policy may be evolving. Stay flexible and calm–Wellspring’s staff will be there to help.

Express concern, interest and care directly to the Birth Parent. Talk to the birth mother when you are in her presence. Include her in your attention. Don’t just look at and talk to the baby.

Let the Birth Mother retain control of the baby in your presence. Let the birth mother hand you the baby; don’t take the baby out of her arms. Similarly, stay in the background while the birth mother has as much time as she wants with the baby.

Don’t bring your family and friends to the hospital, unless the Birth Mother has met and invited them. The hospital is not the place to introduce your family and friends to the baby. The hospital patient is the birth mother. Her friends and family will be visiting; this may be their only chance to see the child. Consider the highly emotional state of the birth mother, and don’t intrude and possibly upset the birth mother with unfamiliar faces.

Try to take one day, one hour, at a time. This is an exciting, highly emotional time. But it is in your best interest to try and sustain a little emotional distance until arrangements are finalized.

If the Birth Mother chooses to participate in the transfer, let her be proactive. Wait for the birth mother to give you the baby. Don’t take the baby away from her. Similarly, let the birth mother be the first to leave the room or drive away after the transfer is completed. It is important for her healing process that she not have an image of the baby being taken from her.

Talk to the Birth Mother about what she wants you to do during labor and delivery. Think about your comfort level. Don’t agree to participate in a way that makes you uncomfortable. In turn, don’t urge the birth mother to include you in any way that makes her uncomfortable.

Ready your support system. Awaiting a baby’s birth is never easy. Let your friends and family know how they can help you–emotionally and logistically. Let them know you’ll need support over the telephone –but not at the hospital–once the big day arrives

Each Birth Parent is unique. There is no way to know how the birth mother will react to the birth experience, what support she will seek, how she will emotionally and physically respond to delivery and the hormonal shift that follows delivery.

Emotions surrounding birth are some of life’s most intense. Be prepared to see the birth mother display extremely strong emotions. Any emotion from deep sadness to withdrawal can surface at any time from labor through the transfer. This is normal.

The Birth Mother will experience dramatic emotional shifts. Within the first 48 hours following birth, the birth mother will live on an emotional and physical roller coaster. She will experience labor and delivery, hormonal shift, physical recovery and the initial stages of detachment. Exhaustion, adrenaline and fluctuating hormones can bring powerful emotional shifts. This is normal.

Expect surprises. No matter how well you and the birth mother have planned for the hospital, or how good your communication is, expect pre-made plans to change. Nothing can really prepare the birth mother for what she will experience during and after the birth. As her emotions fluctuate, so will her needs. This is to be expected.

Birth Parents must say “hello” “see you later” and “good-bye.” Birth parents may need time alone with the baby to realistically come to terms with their decision to place the child with the adoptive family. The hospital provides the best time and place for them to begin to face and accept their decision. Don’t automatically fear the private time between the birth parents and the baby.

Think of the first 48 hours as belonging to the Birth Mother. In most cases, the birth mother feels very deeply about the child. Frequently, she perceives that she has the first 48 hours, and the adoptive parents have the rest of the child’s life. Don’t misinterpret a lack of willingness to include adoptive parents in the hospital time as “having second thoughts.”

The Birth Parents’ families and friends may be protective of the Birth Mother. The frustration of not being able to alleviate the emotional distress of the birth mother may translate into unhappiness or coldness toward all those involved in the situation, including the adoptive parents.

The hospital’s personnel will focus concerns on the Birth Mother. Regardless of the hospital’s policies regarding independent adoption, employees are individuals who may have a wide range of feelings toward adoption. For some staff members, independent adoption may be a totally alien practice. Remember, you’re dealing with individuals and their reactions may not reflect hospital policy. As always, call on the Wellspring staff if the need arises.

Be prepared for your own emotions as you separate from the Birth Mother after the transfer. After weeks or perhaps months of working together with your birth mother toward the common goal of a healthy birth, it may be very challenging to emotionally separate from her after your child’s transfer. Conflicting emotions that have arisen from time to time during the pregnancy may set as the birth becomes imminent. This insecurity is normal and is frequently experienced by birth parents as well as adoptive parents.

How to Explain Adoption to Your Children

How to Explain Adoption to Your Children

 

 

Women who have chosen to pursue adoption but already have children at home often wonder how to explain adoption to their children.

 

How do you tell your children you are placing their brother or sister for adoption? Will they understand? Will they be sad or angry?

 

If possible, begin explaining adoption to your children while you are pregnant. Be honest with them, but don’t tell them more than they need to know. Explain how your baby will always be your son or daughter and your children’s brother or sister, but that the baby will be living with another mommy and daddy who are unable to have children on their own.

 

Some ideas to help you with explaining adoption to your child are:

 

Watch Adoption Movies with Your Children – There are many children’s movies that have an adoption theme. Choose movies that are appropriate for your children’s ages, and talk to them about the movie’s adoption theme afterwards.

 

Movies with adoption themes include Meet the Robinsons, The Land Before Time, Annie, Little Stuart, Despicable Me, and Angels in the Outfield. There are countless other adoption-related movies, so search online and find one that you feel is appropriate for your child’s age.

 

Read Adoption Books with Your Children – There are also adoption-themed children’s books that may help prepare your children for the adoption. One such book is Sam’s Sister by Juliet C. Bond. This book explains adoption from the perspective of a young girl whose mother places her younger brother for adoption. Sam’s Sister explains adoption in a positive, reassuring manner for young children to understand.

 

Involve Your Children in the Adoption Process – After you have told your children about your adoption plan, it may be beneficial to involve them in the adoption process. If you feel it is appropriate, include them in meetings with the adoptive parent(s).

 

Allow Your Children to Express Their Emotions – While this is an emotional time for you, remember that your children are also most likely experiencing a wide range of emotions.

 

Encourage your children to express their emotions by having them write letters, draw pictures or make crafts for their brother or sister. You may also take your children shopping to allow them to pick out a special stuffed animal, blanket or anything else that would be a meaningful gift. These activities will encourage your children to express their emotions during this time and to give their brother or sister a special keepsake.

 

After you tell your children about the upcoming adoption, continue to create a safe environment where they are encouraged to share their feelings and where talking about adoption is OK.

 

Remind them that it is normal to feel sad. But also remind them all of the good things that will take place in the baby’s life because of the adoption, and that the baby will always be their brother or sister, no matter what.

Reid and Paul’s Adoption Story

On a Sunday September 18th we received a screening call from Kathi, our Adoption MN social worker. She told us there was a birth mother interested in 5 families, and we were her second choice. We were told the birth mother, Lauren, was shy and working slowly through the process. She was due on November 4th, so time was quickly approaching for her to make a plan.

Many days went by and we didn’t hear anything. We wondered if Lauren had picked her first choice. We started to think that maybe this situation wasn’t going to be “the one” for us, which was OK. Our philosophy surrounding our adoption plan was “when it happens, it happens…” as we wait and hope for a placement.READ MORE

Jeff & Beth’s Adoption Story

It all began with a phone call from our Adoptive Parent Counselor and these words: “Hi, this is Robyn. I’ve got a situation that I’d like to talk to you about.” But wait… it didn’t all begin there… it began before that with an Orientation Meeting at Adoption Minnesota.

From the minute we walked into Adoption Minnesota, we knew that we were in the right place. We had visited other agencies, but none of them felt right, none of them felt like “us.” A friend of a friend told us about Adoption Minnesota. She had adopted her daughter through them and said so many positive things, we knew we had to check them out.READ MORE

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Amber’s Story

“Going into this process, I never imagined how amazing adoption could be. Even though it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also one of the best ones, too!”

I first found out I was pregnant when I was in my first semester of my freshman year of college. I was terrified about thinking about what I should do. I was still hanging out with the birth father, but we weren’t serious. I remember talking with my mom and she said that she would support whatever choice I made, but asked if I ever thought of adoption. She said that we had family members who were adopted and others who were planning on adopting. I researched a great deal online before I contacted the birth father to tell him I was pregnant and also thinking about doing an adoption.

I was so freaking scared making that call. He was 4 years older then me and I thought for sure he would want to parent! We met up and I told him about the pregnancy. He was in complete shock and said, “What are we going to do? We have no money!” I explained to him that I wanted to look into adoption and what it would look like if we placed. His face looked so relieved.  He agreed that he thought that it would be the right choice. He said that he would like to have an open adoption because he couldn’t imagine saying goodbye forever.

We met with a counselor at Adoption Minnesota. She was incredibly helpful and answered all of our questions. She showed us the book of families and we picked out a bunch that we were interested in. We then set up a meeting with one of the families to meet them in person.

When the meeting day came, I was totally freaked out! Would they like me? Would it be weird? Would I like them? We met at a restaurant near my house. The meeting went better than I could have dreamed of. They were PERFECT! We spent most of the meeting just getting to know each other. They made me feel like they really cared about the birth father and I and were not just in it to get my baby. We called them that night to tell them that they were the ones.  Their reactions and pure happiness is something I will always remember.

When my daughter was born, I realized what people were talking about when they said that you could love someone at first sight. She was adorable and perfect. My mom, along with the birth father and his mother, and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital holding her and getting to know the adoptive parents even more.

When the day came that we were all leaving the hospital, I had so many emotions. I was incredibly sad and even jealous that they were going to get to go home with her. I also felt relieved that I didn’t have to become a parent when I wasn’t ready. I was happy for them and her, too, because I knew that they would give her the very best. When we were leaving the hospital together, my adoptive parents said to me, “Now remember, this isn’t goodbye. She will forever be in your life and will know about how much love went into this decision.”

Going into this process, I never imagined how amazing adoption could be. I get to see my daughter often and get updates on how she is doing and growing. Even though it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also one of the best ones, too! I know that she is taken care of and has the best dads in the world.