Advantages to Working with a Local Adoption Agency

Advantages to Working with a Local Adoption Agency

Adoption Minnesota is a local adoption agency in Minnesota. Our office is located in Golden Valley, MN. We pride ourselves on answering questions about adoption and explaining the process without judgement or pressure. Because we are a local agency, we can meet with birth mothers in person rather than over the phone. We have found that many birth mothers would rather have a “real” person to talk with in person rather than having to communicate solely through their phones. Our counselors can come to you. We can meet birth mothers in their homes, restaurants near them or anywhere they feel comfortable.

Another advantage to working with a local adoption agency in Minnesota such as Adoption Minnesota, is that we thoroughly follow all the adoption laws in MN. When working with a national agency they may not know all the different states laws.

Adoption Minnesota also specializes in knowing all the resources for birth parents in our state. Since we are a local adoption agency, we know more about what is convenient and accessible to you. We have information on support groups, good hospitals, and doctors to work with, and which attorneys to use. We also have many other birth mothers who are willing to meet and talk with you about the adoption process.

Birth mothers who work with Adoption Minnesota are given choices about how they want their adoption to go. They get to make the decisions about what is best for their baby and themselves. Since we are a private adoption agency, we can support them through this process without having any county involvement. This is a birth mother’s choice, and we want to make sure that they feel supported long after placement.  

Overall, there are many advantages to working with a local adoption agency. If you want more information about adoption, please reach out at www.adoptionmn.com or call 612-333-0593.

 

Open Adoption

In most of the adoptions at Adoption Minnesota, a local adoption agency in Minnesota, there are some amounts of openness after the adoption placement. Openness in adoption can mean a lot of things and can vary. It can mean that adoptive parents provide the birth parents with updates, photos, and letters throughout the years after placement.  It can also mean that the adoptive family gets together with birth parents for in person visits throughout the child’s life.  Of course, the degree of openness depends upon the wishes and comfort level of the birth parents and the adoptive parents.

Adoption Minnesota has been around for over 33 years, and we have found that each birth parent and adoption is different. Some women want semi open adoptions while others want open adoptions with visits with their children.  We make sure that your adoption is tailored to how you feel comfortable with post adoption, it is not a one fits everyone situation. Since we are a local adoption agency you have easy access to us.

We at Adoption Minnesota see that open adoption can be very successful and can benefit everyone in the adoption triad. Some of the benefits of choosing an open adoption are:

  • Getting access to medical health information so that you know your child’s medical history and have access to the birth family if something comes up through the years.
  • Allowing both sides to know how each other is doing and sharing accomplishments through the years.
  • Giving your child the opportunity to have a bond and knowledge of where they came from.
  • Allowing birth parents to know that their child is safe, happy and healthy.

If you are looking into adoption and want more information about the process, or what open adoption looks like please reach out by either emailing info@adoptionmn.com or calling at 612-333-0489. Adoption Minnesota staff is here to help! Again, we are a local adoption agency, meaning our office is in Minnesota, so we can come to you and meet in person, wherever it works best for you.

 

November is National Adoption Month

The History of November being National Adoption Month began in 1976 in Massachusetts when Governor Michael Dukakis announced an Adoption Week. This was then proclaimed as National Adoption Week by President Reagan in 1984. It was in 1995 that National Adoption Week’s awareness and time span was expanded to an entire month by President Clinton.

Adoption is an important, beautiful, and incredible option. National Adoption Month is a month that people use to celebrate and reflect on how their lives have been impacted by adoption. It also provides a platform for spreading awareness of adoption-related news and issues.

Birth Mother’s Day!

Birth Mother’s Day

 May 8, 2021!

At Adoption Minnesota we cherish and honor those of you who have bravely made an adoption plan for your child. Giving your baby up for adoption can be one of the hardest decisions you may ever have to make, and we want to make sure you know that you are thought of, admired, and respected. Your love, strength and courage for your child is one that they will always know of. We hope that you are celebrated and shown the love and compassion that you deserve. Happy Birth Mother’s Day!

If you are thinking about giving your baby up/placing your child for adoption and want more information, please reach out to Adoption Minnesota at info@adoptionmn.com or at 612-333-0593. We are here to help you through this very difficult time.

Social Media and Adoption

Social Media and Adoption

Our society uses social media to keep in touch with family, friends and many others. Social media has changed the way we communicate both in our personal and even work lives. Adoption is no different and birth parents and adoptive families are no exception.

In the adoption world social media can help make connections between adoptive parents and birth parents. It can help to keep an open adoption going with easy communication. Online support groups offer communities for adoptive and birth parents, that are easily accessible for when they need them.

Before agreeing to be friends through social media Adoption Minnesota encourages adoptive parents need to think about how they will feel if they were to see their child’s birth parents or family posting about their struggles and the coping that go along with placing a child for adoption. They also encourage birth parents, to think about how they will feel reading about the feelings adoptive parents might post about the adoption process, fear, stress, nervousness, happiness etc. When using social media, it’s important to remember that the adoption process is not only your story, but your child’s story, and the way you tell that story could impact everyone involved in the adoption. The following are some tips for when you are considering using social media on your adoption journey.

For Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents:

  • Assume that anything you say or post on social media will stay there forever. Before posting sensitive information about your adoption plans and your child, consider the possibility that the information you share now could one day be seen by your child.
  • It is a good idea to work on a post adoption social media plan. Adoption Minnesota along with many other agencies help adoptive parents and birth parents create one so that everyone is on the same page about what will be posted. Having a plan in place will allow birth parents and adoptive families to establish and agree on boundaries regarding discussions of their child and the adoption on social media.
  • If you are not currently a social media user or not a frequent user, it is very important to become familiar with sites before using them. Many sites have features that you should understand about public or private information and how you add information that is private verses public. Even after you become familiar with the privacy settings on any given site it is also important to still be aware that these sites often change the settings options. If you plan to share information about your adoption process on social media, adjust your privacy settings to limit the people who can access that information.
  • When sharing adoption information with your social media networks, remember that friends can share or respond to your posts, opening your information to a wider audience beyond your intended group of friends and followers. Include this consideration in your pre- and post-adoption social media plan.
  • Adoption Minnesota suggests that parties do not share identifying information about the birth or adoptive family or the child.
  • When sharing images of children, consider private photo-sharing websites that require a password to view posted photo galleries.
  • If you have an open adoption, consider setting up a separate, private website or private Facebook page to share pictures, information and milestones between the birth and adoptive families. This will allow you to share adoption information with a select group of individuals without including the day-to-day information you might share on your public social media sites.
  • Have clear boundaries from the beginning about who you will accept friend and follower requests from, including extended birth and adoptive family members.
  • Avoid angry or emotionally charged communication about other members of the adoption process. Again, remember that anything you do or say on social media could potentially be seen by your child one day, and these types of negative posts could be upsetting to your child.
  • Monitor and censor what friends post on your social media pages. If you shared adoption information with a friend or family member outside of social media, they may post questions or information to your social media pages that publicly reveals this information.
  • When posting to online adoption support groups or discussion forums, be careful to guard the privacy and identity of the members of your adoption. Consider changing names or using commonly used acronyms, such as “BP” for birth parent.

For Birth Parents:

  • Talk with your family, friends and the birthfather about your post adoption social media plan. Make sure everyone understands your wishes regarding the information that is shared on social media.
  • If you receive a friend request from a child, speak to your Adoption Minnesota counselor or an adoption specialist before responding. Social media is often not the best format to make these types of connections, and you may consider redirecting the request to more traditional formats, such as personal letters or emails.
  • Do not criticize the adoptive parents on social media, including expressing frustration with their parenting decisions.

For Adoptive Parents:

  • Do not post pre-placement adoption information, such as ultrasound photos, without an agreement from the birth parents.
  • If you are connected to your child’s birth family on social media, avoid posting complaints about your child. Simple expressions of routine frustrations over late-night diaper changes or a messy bedroom can be misinterpreted by birth parents and lead to hurt feelings.
  • If you have an open or semi-open adoption with your child’s birth parents, share big news and milestones regarding your child with them directly via letter, email or phone call before posting it online for the rest of your social network to see.
  • Never criticize members of the birth family on social media, including those who seem to be unsupportive of the birth mother’s adoption decision.
  • As your child grows up and begins to use social media, consider their privacy settings and their access to information about their birth family. Prepare your child for the pros and cons of developing a social media relationship with his or her birth family.

Social Media can be a great way to get to know each other and stay connect, but it can also lead to hurt feelings and misconceptions if not used right. The important thing to think about when using social media for adoption purposes is how it will affect everyone involved. As long as both sides are on the same page and have discussed their plan, Adoption Minnesota feels that social media can be a very helpful adoption tool.

 

You Are Not “Giving Up” by Choosing Adoption

You Are Not “Giving Up” by Choosing Adoption

You Are Choosing the Best Life Possible for Your Baby

Giving a baby up for adoption isn’t giving up! In the very least it is giving life. Birth mothers have thought long and hard about their adoption plans, they sometimes spend months planning how the adoption will go. They are just trying to choose the best life for their child. It takes an incredible amount of courage to say that you might not be what is best and that you want more for your child then what you can give them right now.

The term “giving up” can be read on websites, heard on TV shows and even be said in causal conversation among friends, but that doesn’t make the term correct. In reality women who create an adoption plan do not “give up” anything, if anything they give.

Birth mothers are making an adoption plan to give their children everything they want for them and may not be able to give them themselves. They give them adoptive families, love, stability, opportunities and much more. Nothing about an adoption plan is giving up.

Adoption has also changed so much through the years. Women no longer are forced to give up their children if they are young, single parents like they were in the past. With an open adoption birth mothers get to choose a family, decide how their adoption will go and also have visits and updates through out the years. They are not giving up, but getting to be in their children’s lives.

Adoption Minnesota wants women to know that it is not giving up in any way. It is making a plan for a child that hopefully is best for them and also for you. If you have any questions about the process or adoption please contact us at 612-333-0593 or info@adoptionmn.com.

Adoption is About Creating a Plan Not “Giving Up a Baby”

Adoption is About Creating a Plan Not “Giving Up a Baby”

If you are just beginning to look into adoption as a birth parent, adoptive parent or adoptee you may hear or read the term “give up”. While this is a common term used by modern society and the media it is actually not the preferred term. It does not positively and realistically speak about the adoption process. It tends to present an outdated version of the process.

Birth mothers are not “giving up” their babies. They are doing quite the opposite. They are creating very detailed plans for their children and making sure they are given the very best. It is a very tough decision made from their love and strength for their child. Using the words “give up” makes it seem like it’s a quick decision where a woman gives up her child without any thought or plan.

Thankfully women are no longer told that they must hand over or give up there babies without ever hearing from them again, never getting to know how they are doing or telling them how much they are loved.

Adoption truly has changed through the decades. Women are now able to create private adoptions to fit their needs. They get to plan how they want their child’s adoption to go. In many adoptions today women create their adoption plans and get to have on going contact with their children through pictures, updates and sometimes visits.

Adoption Minnesota and other adoption professionals advocate and prefer to use terms such as “place your baby for adoption,” or “create an adoption plan,” rather than “give up your baby.” We feel that it better reflects the work that goes into finding the right adoptive family and the birth mother’s strength, courage and love for her child.

If you want to talk about private adoption, the process or have any questions please feel free to call us at 612-333-0593 or email us at info@adoptionmn.com.

The Hospital Experience: Things to Remember

Remember: The Birth Mother is the hospital’s patient. You are a guest of the birth mother, not the hospital’s client. Their concern is the health and well-being of the birth mother and the baby, not the comfort and needs of her guests.

Respect hospital policy–be flexible! Hospital policies regarding adoption can be different at every hospital. Everything from your access to the baby and his/her physician, to the hospital’s discharge policy may be evolving. Stay flexible and calm–Wellspring’s staff will be there to help.

Express concern, interest and care directly to the Birth Parent. Talk to the birth mother when you are in her presence. Include her in your attention. Don’t just look at and talk to the baby.

Let the Birth Mother retain control of the baby in your presence. Let the birth mother hand you the baby; don’t take the baby out of her arms. Similarly, stay in the background while the birth mother has as much time as she wants with the baby.

Don’t bring your family and friends to the hospital, unless the Birth Mother has met and invited them. The hospital is not the place to introduce your family and friends to the baby. The hospital patient is the birth mother. Her friends and family will be visiting; this may be their only chance to see the child. Consider the highly emotional state of the birth mother, and don’t intrude and possibly upset the birth mother with unfamiliar faces.

Try to take one day, one hour, at a time. This is an exciting, highly emotional time. But it is in your best interest to try and sustain a little emotional distance until arrangements are finalized.

If the Birth Mother chooses to participate in the transfer, let her be proactive. Wait for the birth mother to give you the baby. Don’t take the baby away from her. Similarly, let the birth mother be the first to leave the room or drive away after the transfer is completed. It is important for her healing process that she not have an image of the baby being taken from her.

Talk to the Birth Mother about what she wants you to do during labor and delivery. Think about your comfort level. Don’t agree to participate in a way that makes you uncomfortable. In turn, don’t urge the birth mother to include you in any way that makes her uncomfortable.

Ready your support system. Awaiting a baby’s birth is never easy. Let your friends and family know how they can help you–emotionally and logistically. Let them know you’ll need support over the telephone –but not at the hospital–once the big day arrives

Each Birth Parent is unique. There is no way to know how the birth mother will react to the birth experience, what support she will seek, how she will emotionally and physically respond to delivery and the hormonal shift that follows delivery.

Emotions surrounding birth are some of life’s most intense. Be prepared to see the birth mother display extremely strong emotions. Any emotion from deep sadness to withdrawal can surface at any time from labor through the transfer. This is normal.

The Birth Mother will experience dramatic emotional shifts. Within the first 48 hours following birth, the birth mother will live on an emotional and physical roller coaster. She will experience labor and delivery, hormonal shift, physical recovery and the initial stages of detachment. Exhaustion, adrenaline and fluctuating hormones can bring powerful emotional shifts. This is normal.

Expect surprises. No matter how well you and the birth mother have planned for the hospital, or how good your communication is, expect pre-made plans to change. Nothing can really prepare the birth mother for what she will experience during and after the birth. As her emotions fluctuate, so will her needs. This is to be expected.

Birth Parents must say “hello” “see you later” and “good-bye.” Birth parents may need time alone with the baby to realistically come to terms with their decision to place the child with the adoptive family. The hospital provides the best time and place for them to begin to face and accept their decision. Don’t automatically fear the private time between the birth parents and the baby.

Think of the first 48 hours as belonging to the Birth Mother. In most cases, the birth mother feels very deeply about the child. Frequently, she perceives that she has the first 48 hours, and the adoptive parents have the rest of the child’s life. Don’t misinterpret a lack of willingness to include adoptive parents in the hospital time as “having second thoughts.”

The Birth Parents’ families and friends may be protective of the Birth Mother. The frustration of not being able to alleviate the emotional distress of the birth mother may translate into unhappiness or coldness toward all those involved in the situation, including the adoptive parents.

The hospital’s personnel will focus concerns on the Birth Mother. Regardless of the hospital’s policies regarding independent adoption, employees are individuals who may have a wide range of feelings toward adoption. For some staff members, independent adoption may be a totally alien practice. Remember, you’re dealing with individuals and their reactions may not reflect hospital policy. As always, call on the Wellspring staff if the need arises.

Be prepared for your own emotions as you separate from the Birth Mother after the transfer. After weeks or perhaps months of working together with your birth mother toward the common goal of a healthy birth, it may be very challenging to emotionally separate from her after your child’s transfer. Conflicting emotions that have arisen from time to time during the pregnancy may set as the birth becomes imminent. This insecurity is normal and is frequently experienced by birth parents as well as adoptive parents.

Birthmom Focused Adoptions

Adoption Minnesota Finds it Important to Create Birth Mom Focused Adoption Plans.

Adoption Minnesota is one of the biggest adoption agencies in Minnesota. We believe that it is important for women thinking about placing their child for adoption to decide how the adoption will go. Birth mothers have a lot of choices when it comes to adoption and it is important to focus on how they want the process to go. Birth mothers can choose the adoptive family, decide how they want the hospital time to go and plan what they want for openness or contact after the placement.

Birth mother focused adoptions are very important. When an adoption focuses on the birth mother’s needs and wants, it allows her to feel better about giving her baby up for adoption. It helps birth mothers grieve and heal, knowing that she created a plan to fit what works best for her baby and herself.

Adoption Minnesota also feels that it is best after the placement to continue to focus on the birth mother. Adoption Minnesota continues to support and work with our birth mothers for as long as they need us after they place their newborn for adoption. We meet up with them to counsel them in person at a location of their choice, help them find support groups and talk to other birth mothers if they are interested in doing so.

If you know anyone looking do give up their baby for adoption in Minnesota please have them reach out to our agency. We are here to support them through this process and after. We want to make sure they they feel supported and good about their plan for adoption.

How to Explain Adoption to Your Children

How to Explain Adoption to Your Children

 

 

Women who have chosen to pursue adoption but already have children at home often wonder how to explain adoption to their children.

 

How do you tell your children you are placing their brother or sister for adoption? Will they understand? Will they be sad or angry?

 

If possible, begin explaining adoption to your children while you are pregnant. Be honest with them, but don’t tell them more than they need to know. Explain how your baby will always be your son or daughter and your children’s brother or sister, but that the baby will be living with another mommy and daddy who are unable to have children on their own.

 

Some ideas to help you with explaining adoption to your child are:

 

Watch Adoption Movies with Your Children – There are many children’s movies that have an adoption theme. Choose movies that are appropriate for your children’s ages, and talk to them about the movie’s adoption theme afterwards.

 

Movies with adoption themes include Meet the Robinsons, The Land Before Time, Annie, Little Stuart, Despicable Me, and Angels in the Outfield. There are countless other adoption-related movies, so search online and find one that you feel is appropriate for your child’s age.

 

Read Adoption Books with Your Children – There are also adoption-themed children’s books that may help prepare your children for the adoption. One such book is Sam’s Sister by Juliet C. Bond. This book explains adoption from the perspective of a young girl whose mother places her younger brother for adoption. Sam’s Sister explains adoption in a positive, reassuring manner for young children to understand.

 

Involve Your Children in the Adoption Process – After you have told your children about your adoption plan, it may be beneficial to involve them in the adoption process. If you feel it is appropriate, include them in meetings with the adoptive parent(s).

 

Allow Your Children to Express Their Emotions – While this is an emotional time for you, remember that your children are also most likely experiencing a wide range of emotions.

 

Encourage your children to express their emotions by having them write letters, draw pictures or make crafts for their brother or sister. You may also take your children shopping to allow them to pick out a special stuffed animal, blanket or anything else that would be a meaningful gift. These activities will encourage your children to express their emotions during this time and to give their brother or sister a special keepsake.

 

After you tell your children about the upcoming adoption, continue to create a safe environment where they are encouraged to share their feelings and where talking about adoption is OK.

 

Remind them that it is normal to feel sad. But also remind them all of the good things that will take place in the baby’s life because of the adoption, and that the baby will always be their brother or sister, no matter what.