May 13, 2019 In Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By CAIRS

Angela’s story

“As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have ever done for her.”

I was 23 years old, a single parent of a 4 year old with a full time job and education goals. The father of my baby had left me. I had intended to raise the baby, but I didn’t feel that I had the tools to do this on my own. I could not offer my children a secure future. I wanted my baby to have the support and security of two parents who could fulfill her needs and give her a peaceful childhood full of attention and love.

First, I called Adoption Minnesota to find out about adoption. I felt so comfortable with the woman I talked to that I came in right away to get more information.

On my first visit to the agency, I looked through the book of families. When I saw my adoptive parents’ picture, I just knew they would be my family. I know that sounds silly, but looking back, I think God was guiding me. They were the perfect match. I grew to love them and wanted them to be my child’s parents. They were kind, supportive, and loving people who never pressured me about my decision. They really seemed to care about me. The relationship they had with each other was very loving. They seemed genuine.

I didn’t really decide that I was definitely doing adoption until I met the adoptive parents. Then I prayed a lot, searched my heart, and got to know them. It was finally clear that this was the best decision. A few weeks later, my baby was born.

When my daughter left the hospital with her adoptive parents, I felt very sad and overwhelmed. Everyone, especially the adoptive parents, treated me kindly. That helped me immensely. I was afraid the pain I felt would never end and, at the same time, I really always felt at peace about my daughter’s safety and well-being. I knew she would be in a good, safe, and loving place.

My birth parent counselor was always there to talk to, and after I placed the baby, she was there for me continuously to help me through the grieving process. She always let it be my decision and didn’t ever make me feel incompetent to raise my baby myself if I decided I could.

As painful as it was to let go of my daughter, it was the most loving thing I could have done for her. I’ve never lost sight of that and am grateful that adoption exists because of how deeply I love her. The adoptive parents’ gift to me was letting me be at peace knowing that she will always be loved, happy and safe.

unplanned pregnancy help, newborn adoption, putting up baby for adoption
May 8, 2019 In Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By CAIRS

Malia’s Story

“If you would have asked me about adoption before I was pregnant I would have said that I could never go through with it.  Now that I have I can’t imagine what my life would have been if I hadn’t!

I was fifteen and a sophomore in high school when I found out that I was pregnant. I had just played in a basketball game and came home feeling horrible. I went to the doctor the next day and was told the surprising news that I was pregnant. I didn’t believe my doctor at first. How could this have happened? Not to me! My boyfriend at the time was also in high school, and both of us knew that we were not ready to parent. I wanted to finish school and go to college. I was too far along in my pregnancy to get an abortion, so we knew that adoption was the right choice.

My mom helped me find an adoption agency and set up a meeting for an adoption worker to come to our house. I was so nervous! I thought that it would be some old woman who would tell me what I needed to do. I could not have been more wrong. The worker came and made me feel comfortable right away. She told me that I got a lot of choices through this process. She told me that I got to choose the family, decide how I wanted the adoption to go, and also have contact after placing.

My boyfriend and I went through the book of families. We chose one to meet with. They came to our house to meet because we thought that would be easiest for us. Everyone was so nervous at our first meeting, but after they left, we both said that they were the ones. We asked them to meet us again and we told them in person that we were choosing them. Everyone was crying and hugging. It felt really good.

When it came time to deliver, the family was in the waiting room. We wanted them to meet their daughter as soon as she was born. They had a separate room at the hospital and it was nice to have some time with them and our baby and also some time alone with her. When we all left the hospital, there were more tears, but they were good tears. We had all been through so much together and truly cared for each other. Even though it was extremely hard, we knew that we would be seeing each other and be in each other’s lives forever. That made it a little easier.

Since placing, I have seen my daughter a few times a year. It has been really amazing having her in my life. She got to come to one of my basketball games and meet my team. It was so incredible to see her cheering in the stands. If you had asked me about adoption before I was pregnant I would have said that I could never go through with it.  Now that I have I can’t imagine what my life would have been if I hadn’t!