Uncategorized Archives - Page 6 of 6 - Adoption Minnesota
July 3, 2018 In Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By Amanda Warner

Commonly Asked Questions by Women Thinking About Placing for Adoption

Commonly asked Questions by Women Thinking About Placing for Adoption

At Adoption Minnesota, we do independent adoptions. Adoptive parents and birth parents plan their own adoption. There are no rules or policies that must be followed, so every adoption is unique. It is up to the birth and adoptive parents to decide how they want their adoptions to go. Birth parents are also guaranteed that only the family they choose can adopt the child.

1. Do I get to choose a family to adopt my baby?

Yes. You are able to choose the family you would like to place your child with. You can either choose one of the many families that Adoption Minnesota is working with, or if you know of someone who you would like to place with we can help you work with them too.

2. Can I get to know the adoptive family?

Absolutely. Many birth parents find it important to get to know the family before they chose them, and even more afterwards. We want you to feel comfortable with the family before you move forward with them. Many adoptive parents are open to having contact through phone, email and in-person visits.

3. What process do adoptive parents have to go through?

All Adoptive parents must go through an extensive process called a home study, before being approved to adopt a child. They must provide the agency with recent medical exams, financial information and complete a criminal background check among many other things.

4. Does my baby have to go into foster care after it is born?

No. Typically the baby goes home directly from the hospital with the adoptive parents. However, if the birth parent is uncomfortable with that, or is having a hard time deciding what to do, someone else can do short term care for the baby until the birth parent makes a decision on how they want to move forward.

5. Can I have a relationship with my child after placement?

In most cases birth parents and adoptive families can have openness and a relationship after placement. Birth parents and adoptive parents can make an agreement about exchanging future information. This can include having updates and pictures sent to them or even visits. It also includes arrangements for exchanging any future medical information, which might be important for the adopted child or birth parent.

6. Does the birth father have to be involved?

No. While it is a good idea to involve the birth father if he is at all willing, it is not required in Minnesota unless he is married to the birth mother, living with the birth mother, or is on the baby’s birth certificate. If he does nothing to take legal action to have himself declared the father of the child, his rights are automatically terminated a certain number of days after the child’s birth.

7. How long do I have to change my mind after placing for adoption?

You can change your mind about placing your baby until your written consent becomes final. In Minnesota the earliest a birth parent can sign a consent is 72 hours after the baby is born, and you must sign within 60 days from birth. You have 10 working days from the date you sign the consent before it becomes irrevocable and final.

8. How much will adoption cost me?

Adoption Minnesota does not charge the birth parents anything for the services provided to them. We are here to help you through this process and create a plan for your child. In many cases the birth parents legal fees are also paid for.

9. Can I get help with my expenses?

In Minnesota an adoptive family can help the birth mother by paying certain expenses for her. Generally the courts will allow them to pay for such things as maternity clothing, living expenses, and transportation to and from medical appointments. They can also pay for the birth mother’s legal fees, medical bills and any counseling she wants to help her cope through the adoption.

10. Will I have support after the placement?

Not only will you be supported throughout your placement, your counselor can offer you ongoing adoption support as long as needed. There are also adoption support groups, retreats and other birth parents who have gone through this process who are willing to talk and meet with you if desired. We are here for you.

 

If you have any questions feel free to call us at 612-333-0593 or email us at info@adoptionmn.com

April 26, 2017 In Adoptive Parents, Adoptive Parents Stories, Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By Adoption Minnesota

Reid and Paul’s Adoption Story

On a Sunday September 18th we received a screening call from Kathi, our Adoption MN social worker. She told us there was a birth mother interested in 5 families, and we were her second choice. We were told the birth mother, Lauren, was shy and working slowly through the process. She was due on November 4th, so time was quickly approaching for her to make a plan.

Many days went by and we didn’t hear anything. We wondered if Lauren had picked her first choice. We started to think that maybe this situation wasn’t going to be “the one” for us, which was OK. Our philosophy surrounding our adoption plan was “when it happens, it happens…” as we wait and hope for a placement.READ MORE

March 14, 2017 In Adoptive Parents, Adoptive Parents Stories, Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By Adoption Minnesota

Jeff & Beth’s Adoption Story

It all began with a phone call from our Adoptive Parent Counselor and these words: “Hi, this is Robyn. I’ve got a situation that I’d like to talk to you about.” But wait… it didn’t all begin there… it began before that with an Orientation Meeting at Adoption Minnesota.

From the minute we walked into Adoption Minnesota, we knew that we were in the right place. We had visited other agencies, but none of them felt right, none of them felt like “us.” A friend of a friend told us about Adoption Minnesota. She had adopted her daughter through them and said so many positive things, we knew we had to check them out.READ MORE

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March 14, 2017 In Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By Adoption Minnesota

Amy’s Story

“I am very proud of my decision. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.”

I was 18 years old and a senior in high school when I learned I was pregnant. I have always known about adoption. For many years I have said that if I were ever in the situation where abortion would be a solution, I would choose adoption without a second thought.

I decided adoption was the best choice for my baby as soon as his father failed to accept the responsibility of being “dad.” For me, keeping my son could have been an unbelievable struggle. I had six years of college to finish that most likely would have had to wait. Most of all I didn’t want my son to grow up without a mom and a dad.

I chose the adoptive parents myself. I looked through book of families. Some had children, some didn’t. Each couple had photos and a brief biography about themselves, their children and pets. When I got to the last page, I knew as soon as I saw their pictures that they were the ones. I got to keep their profile from the book.
When I looked at them, I could see parts of my life in theirs. Also, when I read their letter, it was almost as if God had answered my prayers right then and there. Everything that was really important to me seemed to be right there in their family.

I struggled with many emotions at different times in my pregnancy. Sometimes, I wished that I wasn’t pregnant so that I could do more with my friends. Towards the end, I was on bed rest and sick, so I wanted it all to be over. Then, when I had him, I wished it wasn’t all over.

My birth parent counselor was always there for me, and I always had options. She wasn’t saying this is the way you have to do it. She asked me how I wanted things to happen. She let me know I could change things if I wanted, and that was really important to me.

I had a very fast and easy delivery. My boyfriend was there, and everyone at the hospital was great. They respected me for my decision and let me have as much time as I wanted with my son. It was a very emotional time. I had second thoughts and more second thoughts. I cried a lot, but I knew my situation was still the same.

When it came time to leave the hospital, I had things set up a special way so it wasn’t so hard. My boyfriend came to get me before the adoptive parents got there so I didn’t have to see him leave with anyone else.

It was the HARDEST day of my life. I was depressed. It was comparable to losing someone you love, but you know they are still alive. It was very hard. Many, many thanks to my parents, boyfriend and counselor. Without these people, I could never have gone through with it.

I am very proud of my decision. I get pictures, updates, and visits. My son is cuter then ever! Every time I see how happy he is, any doubt I ever had goes away. Although he may never call me mom, I feel good inside knowing that I have given him the best gift in the world, a happy life and a chance to make his dreams come true.

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March 14, 2017 In Adoptive Parents, Adoptive Parents Stories, Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By Adoption Minnesota

Amber’s Story

“Going into this process, I never imagined how amazing adoption could be. Even though it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also one of the best ones, too!”

I first found out I was pregnant when I was in my first semester of my freshman year of college. I was terrified about thinking about what I should do. I was still hanging out with the birth father, but we weren’t serious. I remember talking with my mom and she said that she would support whatever choice I made, but asked if I ever thought of adoption. She said that we had family members who were adopted and others who were planning on adopting. I researched a great deal online before I contacted the birth father to tell him I was pregnant and also thinking about doing an adoption.

I was so freaking scared making that call. He was 4 years older then me and I thought for sure he would want to parent! We met up and I told him about the pregnancy. He was in complete shock and said, “What are we going to do? We have no money!” I explained to him that I wanted to look into adoption and what it would look like if we placed. His face looked so relieved.  He agreed that he thought that it would be the right choice. He said that he would like to have an open adoption because he couldn’t imagine saying goodbye forever.

We met with a counselor at Adoption Minnesota. She was incredibly helpful and answered all of our questions. She showed us the book of families and we picked out a bunch that we were interested in. We then set up a meeting with one of the families to meet them in person.

When the meeting day came, I was totally freaked out! Would they like me? Would it be weird? Would I like them? We met at a restaurant near my house. The meeting went better than I could have dreamed of. They were PERFECT! We spent most of the meeting just getting to know each other. They made me feel like they really cared about the birth father and I and were not just in it to get my baby. We called them that night to tell them that they were the ones.  Their reactions and pure happiness is something I will always remember.

When my daughter was born, I realized what people were talking about when they said that you could love someone at first sight. She was adorable and perfect. My mom, along with the birth father and his mother, and I spent a great deal of time at the hospital holding her and getting to know the adoptive parents even more.

When the day came that we were all leaving the hospital, I had so many emotions. I was incredibly sad and even jealous that they were going to get to go home with her. I also felt relieved that I didn’t have to become a parent when I wasn’t ready. I was happy for them and her, too, because I knew that they would give her the very best. When we were leaving the hospital together, my adoptive parents said to me, “Now remember, this isn’t goodbye. She will forever be in your life and will know about how much love went into this decision.”

Going into this process, I never imagined how amazing adoption could be. I get to see my daughter often and get updates on how she is doing and growing. Even though it was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make, it was also one of the best ones, too! I know that she is taken care of and has the best dads in the world.

October 4, 2013 In Birth Parents, Birthmother Stories, Uncategorized, Unplanned Pregnancy By Adoption Minnesota

Julie & Sean’s Story

“If you’re considering adoption for your child, Adoption Minnesota is a place where you’ll find support and comfort with people who really care about you. For the most important event in our lives so far, we couldn’t have had a better experience!”

When we first discovered that Julie was pregnant, we had lots of questions about what we should do. We knew adoption was one option, but we really didn’t know much about it. So we decided to contact Adoption Minnesota to get some information.

Julie was really nervous about calling, but the birth parent facilitator who took her call was very kind and understanding. She explained the process clearly and sent us written information. We loved our baby very much already, and we wanted the best for him, so we knew it would be a hard decision to find a family we could really trust to give him the best.READ MORE